What is Polyamory?
The word “polyamory” is derived from the Greek “poly,” which means “many,” and the Latin “amor,” which means “love.” The non-monogamous practice of having or pursuing numerous romantic relationships with the knowledge and permission of all parties is known as polyamory.
However, monogamy is still prevalent in many cultures. Polyamory falls under ethical nonmonogamy and is becoming widely accepted as a type of romantic engagement.
Polyamory is different from polygamy since polygamous people are married to more than one person. In contrast, polyamorous people may or may not be married to another person.
What is polyamory not?
As polyamory is not a widely recognized lifestyle, neither the general public nor mental health professionals are usually familiar with it. It is frequently mistaken for polygamy. It is often considered equivalent to adultery or swinging.
Polygamy: A religious or cultural practice known as polygamy permits many marriages. Most frequently, it takes the form of polygamy, in which one man has several wives. This practice has a cultural component, as opposed to being a mutually agreed upon decision.
Contrarily, polyamory is the decision to permit numerous adults to participate in romantic and sexual relationships simultaneously, with their knowledge and permission.
Regardless of the available behavioral data, polyamory is frequently seen as a relationship orientation. Even if a person is currently in a monogamous relationship or is not in a relationship at all, they may nevertheless believe themselves to be polyamorous by nature.
Infidelity: Sincere communication between lovers and partners about each of these connections’ existence in their life distinguishes polyamory from cheating (Hymer & Rubin, 1982). According to Walston (2001), polyamory differs from adultery in that all partners must be honest with one another.
Serial monogamy is remaining faithful throughout a monogamous relationship and then continuing to do so throughout a second monogamous relationship after the first one ends. In purportedly monogamous partnerships, cheating occurs when one partner participates in sexual activity with a different person than their partner without the other partner’s knowledge or agreement.
Swinging: Polyamory is a relationship-focused method of non-monogamy rather than a sex-focused one. It is crucial to separate it from other non-monogamic practices like swinging (Weitzman, 2006). Swinging is a sexual activity in which a couple decides to locate partners outside their romantic partnership.
However, the focus is on recreational sex, and emotional connection outside the dyad is discouraged (McCullough & Hall, 2003). Swinging is distinct from polyamory in that the focus is on couples having consenting sexual encounters with others, typically in a social setting. Despite having similar issues, each community uniquely approaches meeting needs.
Polyamorous relationship benefits:
Being in a polyamorous relationship has advantages, such as:
- Compersion is the true happiness one feels for their spouse, who one knows is having fun with other people’s company and getting physical and emotional closeness.
- Enhances interaction amongst all parties
- Enables individuals to try out new experiences and activities
- Expression of oneself is respected and encouraged.
- Less obligation to fulfill a partner’s physical and emotional requirements
Issues faced by Polyamorous People:
Despite the polyamorous community’s perception of the benefits gained, polyamory is a challenge. Since monogamy is the norm in our society, there isn’t much to look at when it comes to examples of good polyamorous relationships in media, culture, peers, and families. Rather than providing examples of how polyamorous relationships can thrive, most role models in popular culture are portrayed in the context of sensationalism.
The paradigm shift from monogamy to polyamory requires effective communication and a willingness to invest time and effort in finding resources to ensure relationship success.
Social issues
- Similar to the LGBT population, polyamorous people encounter legal and societal prejudice. Counselors often discover that poly clients also deal with several stressful external realities in addition to the core presenting issue.
- Individuals who identify as poly may be afraid of being rejected by other family members who they think will object if they find out about their participation in a particular lifestyle. They can be concerned about how their supervisors and coworkers would respond and any adverse effects on their careers. As a result, polyamorous people decide not to disclose their many relationships to others because they believe society does not support their way of life. Even close relatives might not be informed of this.
- Coming out conundrum: Despite not being physically harmful, psychosomatic symptoms may lower the quality of life. Polyamorous people, however, frequently feel they must demonstrate to others that their lifestyle is viable and not “deviant” when the connection is not kept secret. Feelings of insignificance, rage, and terror are influenced by this social isolation or the obligation to defend their way of life.
Intra-polycule issues
- It’s common for couples to disagree on whether to have an open marriage or practice polyamory. It is essential to find a solution to this problem so that you can come to an explicit agreement on how to go to establish safety and security in your relationship. Only when both partners are on board with polyamory can a couple make real progress. Any less will result in both of you suffering. Partners may be incredibly inventive in finding answers to challenges when given the proper backing.
- Jealousy/Insecurity: When entering polyamorous relationships for the first time, even the most confident and emotionally stable persons will likely encounter envy or uneasiness. Your nervous system has the power to take control of your rational thought and make you believe that you are in danger.
A fear reaction of this nature may result in nausea, anxiety, racing thoughts, sleeplessness, tears, or emotional sensitivity.
- Time Conundrum: Even though love is limitless, time is not. Your most significant resource for creating meaningful, satisfying encounters with your relationships is time. You could adjust your tendency to go with the flow and wait to make plans in advance.
Whether you organize regular evenings per week to meet other partners or schedule dates when opportunities arise, remember that your current partner(s) need advance notice to fulfill their guarantees. The scheduling process can get complicated when there are three or more attendees.
- Rules and Boundaries: Rules and boundaries should be established for your partnership as a crucial first step. It ensures the emotional safety of all partners. Rules should be mutually agreed upon. Couples must follow these guidelines, such as the time limit for leaving the house or the frequency of partner dates. Newcomers to the poly community sometimes rely too much on rules, which puts them at greater risk of disappointment and broken trust.
Make sure to complete your agreements in the mistaken belief that doing so will make your existing partnership more secure. Instead, place greater emphasis on setting boundaries that pertain to your area of authority. Your physiological autonomy and how you control your emotional reaction are examples of limitations.
Why therapy?
Polyamory can be associated with acceptance issues, mistrust, Insecurity, and other issues. It marks the psychological slate with deep wounds about partner and self-identity. It is of utmost importance to resolving these from the relationship to thrive not only with the relationship but in life. Relationship matters are complex, and it is essential to talk to polyamory couple therapist who can assist with such issues without personal bias.
PsychiCare provides you with such a platform with experts in the domain. So you need not worry and start talking about the problems to get them resolved.
Who are we?
With more than 10,000 treatment sessions completed, PsychiCare has emerged as India’s top online therapy for couples platform. More than fifteen licensed therapists with years of experience work at PsychiCare. Our therapists understand the mental issues faced by couples.
They give it their all to offer the best solutions. Ms. Mansi More and Ms. Aakanksha Kapoor co-founded PsychiCare to provide excellent counselling services to people from all walks of life. The therapeutic process is a long and challenging journey. You will be working with a therapist to identify the cause of your issues, which could range from anxiety to depression or other mental health concerns.
The therapist will then use different approaches to help you work through those issues. There are many kinds of therapy for couples, some more effective than others. Our evaluations cover evaluations for kids, adults, seniors, and other scales like the PTSD Checklist CIV, Stress, Aggression Questionnaire, Novaco Anger Inventory, self-esteem scale, sexuality assessment scale, suicide scale, and addiction scale.
Connect with us
Couples are willing to talk about their mental health issues now. As a result, Polyamory Couple Therapy plays a prominent role for couples. Consult the top psychologists at PsychiCare to find a solution to your mental health problems.
We provide comprehensive solutions at reasonable costs. Our team of mental health treatment providers is highly skilled and fully comprehends your issues. Fill out your information on https://PsychiCare.com/contact-us/ to make an appointment right now. You can reach us at PsychiCare2021@gmail.com or by calling +916287221888. Our team is available to help you at all times!
References:
- https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about-therapy/issues/polyamory
