No one enters a marriage thinking it’ll end in divorce. It all starts with love, hope, and the idea of tackling life together. But sometimes, things just don’t work out.
Figuring out why some marriages don’t make it can help you strengthen your own relationship, decide if you’re ready to tie the knot or lend a hand to friends and family who are struggling.
A survey with 10,000 divorced folks uncovered some common reasons why marriages break apart. In this article, we’ll dive into those reasons for divorce and see what lessons we can take away from them.
Divorce Rates in India and the World
Divorce rates are very different in India compared to the rest of the world. India has one of the lowest rates, while divorce is becoming more common in many other countries.
India
- In 2022, India had the lowest divorce rate in the world, with just 1% of people divorcing out of 1,000.
- This low rate has stayed the same for years, including in 2020 and 2021.
Global Divorce Trends
- Divorce around the world has gone up by 251.8% since 1960.
- In 2021, 689,308 divorces happened globally. About half of all first marriages end in divorce, and second or third marriages fail even more often.
What Are The Most Common Causes of Divorce?
When couples divorce, they must give a reason in court. Many choose “no-fault” divorce, where no one is blamed, often citing irreconcilable differences. Here’s why most marriages end:
- Not getting along (incompatibility): 31%
- Affairs (infidelity): 34%
Other reasons:
- Lack of support from family (43%)
- Lack of closeness (intimacy)
- Too many fights (conflict)
- Money problems (financial stress)
Many couples don’t notice the warning signs of a troubled marriage. For example, only 21% thought that family or friends disliking their spouse was a problem, even though it played a role in 43% of divorces.
Top 20 Reasons For Divorce And Why Marriages Fail
Infidelity or an Extramarital Affair
Infidelity is one of the top reasons couples call it quits. It’s a serious breach of trust and can be really tough to bounce back from.
A study from 2020 revealed that around 19% of married folks admitted to cheating at some point.
When affairs happen, they can really hurt the emotional bond between partners, leaving behind a lot of pain, distrust, and insecurity.
Trouble with Finances
Money troubles can put a huge strain on relationships. Whether it’s overspending, dealing with debt, or just having different ideas about finances, these issues can lead to some heated arguments.
A more recent survey from 2023 showed that about 73% of couples consider money a big stressor in their marriage.
Plus, financial struggles can lead to resentment, especially if one partner feels they’re carrying more of the burden.
Lack of Communication
We all know that good communication is key to any healthy relationship. When couples stop talking openly, it can create misunderstandings and resentment.
Often, poor communication is just a symptom of deeper issues, like emotional distance or a lack of intimacy.
A study from 2019 found that 65% of couples going through a divorce cited communication problems as one of their main issues.
Constant Arguing
When couples find themselves constantly fighting, especially over the same issues, it can really wear down a marriage.
Frequent arguing often signals unresolved issues that need addressing. Research shows that couples who can’t seem to find common ground are way more likely to split up.
A survey from 2018 showed that couples who argue a lot are 70% more likely to divorce compared to those who argue less.
Weight Gain
It might sound like a small issue, but weight gain can actually have a bigger impact on a relationship than you think. It can affect self-esteem, attraction, and even the lifestyle choices you both make.
A survey in 2017 found that 41% of women and 30% of men said changes in appearance negatively impacted their marriage.
Unrealistic Expectations
A lot of people step into marriage with these perfect images of what it’s supposed to be like. Thanks to movies, TV shows, and social media, it’s easy to have an idealized view.
But when couples face the normal ups and downs of life, these unrealistic expectations can lead to disappointment and frustration.
Research suggests that having high expectations in marriage is a big reason for dissatisfaction since couples find it hard to meet those ideals.
Lack of Intimacy
Intimacy—both emotional and physical—is super important in a marriage. When it starts to fade, couples can feel like they’re drifting apart.
A lack of intimacy can stem from emotional issues, stress, or just busy schedules getting in the way.
A survey from 2020 found that nearly 50% of couples said a lack of intimacy was a major factor in their decision to divorce.
Lack of Equality
When one partner feels like they’re carrying the weight of the relationship alone, it can stir up a lot of resentment.
Whether it’s household chores, parenting duties, or making decisions together, feeling unbalanced can really frustrate a couple.
A study from 2019 pointed out that if one partner feels unequal in responsibilities, there’s a 65% higher chance the marriage could end in divorce.
Not Being Prepared for Marriage
Let’s be honest—some couples just aren’t ready for what marriage actually demands.
Without a clear understanding of the emotional, financial, and personal commitment required, many folks jump in too quickly or without the right tools for success.
A 2018 study found that 48% of couples didn’t fully grasp what they were getting into before saying “I do.”
Physical and Emotional Abuse
Abuse, whether it’s physical or emotional, is a heartbreaking reason for many divorces.
It can leave deep scars for everyone involved, and in cases of abuse, leaving the relationship is often essential for safety.
According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, nearly 1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner violence, making it a significant cause of divorce.
Growing Apart
As we evolve, sometimes partners find they’ve drifted away from each other. Their goals, values, and priorities might not align anymore.
This subtle shift—growing apart—can be incredibly damaging.
A 2021 survey even found that 40% of divorces were the result of couples no longer sharing interests or life goals.
Lack of Support
Feeling unsupported can create a rift between partners.
Whether it’s during tough times or just a day-to-day feeling of neglect, lack of support can lead to distance.
A 2017 study showed that 58% of people in unhappy marriages reported feeling like their spouse didn’t have their back.
Parenting Differences
When partners have different views on parenting, it can spark constant conflict.
Disagreements about discipline, schooling, or family values are common culprits.
A 2019 study revealed that 45% of couples cited differing parenting styles as a factor in their divorce.
Addiction
Addiction to substances or behaviours—like drugs, alcohol, or gambling—can truly wreak havoc on a marriage.
It often results in financial strain, emotional neglect, and trust issues.
A 2019 report found that about 10% of marriages end because one partner is battling addiction.
Overwork or Busy Schedules
When one or both partners are constantly working or caught up in their own interests, the relationship can take a backseat.
A 2020 survey found that 67% of couples said their marriage suffered due to their hectic schedules and overworking.
Jealousy
Too much jealousy can create a lot of tension and mistrust between partners. It can lead to controlling behaviour, nonstop arguments, and overall emotional strain.
A 2018 study revealed that 22% of marriages end because of jealousy and insecurity issues.
Lack of Appreciation
Feeling taken for granted is pretty common in marriages and can really lead to dissatisfaction.
When one partner feels unappreciated, it’s natural for them to start pulling away emotionally.
A study from 2021 even showed that 53% of people who got divorced said feeling unappreciated played a big role in their decision to end things.
Moving or Relocating
Relocating for work or family can put a serious strain on a marriage.
If one partner struggles to adjust or feels isolated in a new place, it can create emotional distance between them.
According to data from 2020, about 29% of marriages deal with stress related to moving for job reasons.
Family or In-Law Interference
Sometimes, if in-laws get too involved in a couple’s life, it can really create tension and friction.
Setting boundaries is super important—when those aren’t respected, conflicts can arise.
A survey from 2019 found that around 30% of divorces were influenced by how involved extended family was in their lives.
Emotional Neglect
Emotional neglect is when one partner feels ignored or unsupported, which can lead to feelings of loneliness and resentment.
It’s often one of the quieter issues that can lead to divorce, but over time, it can really wear a marriage down.
A study from 2021 revealed that 55% of divorced individuals mentioned emotional neglect as a key factor in their split.
Why Do Couples Divorce?
Couples can end up divorcing for a bunch of reasons, but a lot of them deal with similar issues like poor communication, trust problems, money stress, and feeling emotionally distant.
When these struggles aren’t sorted out, it often leads to the decision to part ways. It’s a tough spot that many couples find themselves in at some point.
Do reasons for divorce change depending on age?
No, the reasons for divorce generally remain consistent across ages, though the issues might manifest differently.
Common reasons include unresolved conflict, which is a leading cause for all ages, a lack of commitment cited by 75% of individuals, infidelity mentioned by 59.6%, financial problems raised by 36.7%, substance abuse noted by 34.6%, and domestic violence acknowledged by 23.5%.
While these reasons don’t change, their impact can vary with age.
How hard should you try before getting a divorce?
Before thinking about divorce, it’s important to really commit to saving your marriage.
This means having open conversations, going to couples therapy, and tackling any problems together, as long as both partners truly want to make it work.
If one partner isn’t willing to put in the effort, it’s clear that trying to fix things may not help and could just delay a decision that needs to be made.
Why Do People Get Divorced? Top Reasons That Influence Divorce Decisions
A 2013 study published in Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice identified several key reasons why people choose to end their marriages.
The survey included insights from 36 couples who had divorced within the previous 14 years, with an average marriage duration of 12.2 years.
The participants’ median age was 25.4 years old at the time of their marriage.
The study found that lack of commitment ranked as the leading cause of divorce, followed by infidelity and family conflict.
Leading Causes of Divorce
- Lack of commitment (75%)
- Infidelity (59.6%)
- Excessive family conflict (57.7%)
- Marrying too young (45.1%)
- Financial problems (36.7%)
- Substance abuse (34.6%)
- Domestic violence (23.5%)
- Chronic illness or disability (18.2%)
Divorce in Later Life
For couples in their 50s, 60s, and 70s, the reasons for divorce are often linked to major life changes, such as:
- Empty nest syndrome: Adjusting to life after children leave home.
- Financial instability: Managing income after retirement.
- Health issues: Coping with declining physical or mental health.
- Marriage history: Second or third marriages tend to have higher divorce rates, as research shows they are often less stable.
Insights from a 2012 Survey of Divorcing Parents
A separate study by Hawkins, Willoughby, and Doherty in 2012 surveyed 886 divorcing parents. This research highlighted these top reasons for separation:
- Emotional distance/lack of intimacy (55%)
- Communication breakdowns (53%)
- Financial disagreements (40%)
- Infidelity (37%)
- Feeling neglected (34%)
- Conflicting habits (29%)
- Sexual issues (24%)
Demographic Factors Influencing Divorce
Additional research shows that educational background, religion, age, and race play a role in divorce rates:
- Lower educational attainment: Divorce is more common among those with a high school diploma or less (20.4%).
- Religious upbringing: Protestant groups have a higher divorce rate (19%).
- Young marriages: Individuals aged 15–24 are at the highest risk (27%).
- Race: Black or African American individuals experience a divorce rate of 38.9%.
Health and Lifestyle Contributions
Certain physical and mental health conditions also increase divorce likelihood:
- Mental health disorders (20%)
- Infertility (27%)
- Alcohol or substance addiction (21.1%)
Regional Trends
Regional studies, such as a 2017 survey in Northwest Georgia, also shed light on localized reasons for divorce:
- Infidelity (56%)
- Communication issues (31.9%)
- Abuse (21.5%)
- Financial struggles (18.8%)
Overall Causes of Divorce
Across various studies, these reasons consistently appear as significant contributors to divorce:
- Lack of commitment (75%)
- Infidelity (59.6%)
- Irreconcilable differences (57.7%)
- Marrying too young (45.1%)
- Financial problems (36.1%)
- Substance abuse (34.6%)
- Communication issues (31.9%)
- Infertility (27%)
- Domestic violence (23.5%)
- A child’s disability or mental illness (22.7%)
- Health challenges (20%)
- Family disapproval or lack of support (17.3%)
- Religious conflicts (13.3%)
Conclusion
The studies in this article show that the most common reasons for divorce are:
- Infidelity
- Lack of commitment
- Substance abuse
- Money problems
- Too much conflict
The good news is that the chance of divorce gets smaller the longer a couple stays married. Over time, couples often build stronger connections and learn to handle problems better.
Help is available for struggling couples. Marriage counselling, relationship classes, and family therapists can guide couples in fixing issues, improving communication, and strengthening their bond.
References: https://divorce.com/blog/causes-of-divorce/
https://terryandrobertslaw.com/blog/divorce-rate-facts/
