Reviewed and updated for accuracy on September 21, 2025.
Struggling with uncontrollable sexual urges or emotions? You’re not alone. In this guide, we’ll share 12 proven ways to control sex feelings and emotions naturally, from relaxation methods to communication skills and professional support.
It is important to be able to control our sex emotions because they can have a significant impact on our sexual behavior and relationships.
If we are unable to control our sex emotions, we may engage in risky behaviors, such as unprotected sex or multiple partners. We may also experience relationship problems, such as communication difficulties and conflict.
There are many different types of sex emotions. Some of the most common include:
- Arousal: A physical state of excitement and readiness for sexual activity.
- Excitement: A feeling of anticipation and excitement about sex.
- Pleasure: A feeling of satisfaction and enjoyment during sex.
- Shame: A feeling of guilt or embarrassment about sex.
- Guilt: A feeling of regret or remorse about sexual activity.
- Anxiety: A feeling of nervousness or worry about sex.
- Anger: A feeling of hostility or resentment towards oneself or a partner in relation to sex.
- Grief: A feeling of sadness or loss related to sex, such as the death of a partner or the end of a relationship.
There are a number of challenges to controlling sex emotions. One challenge is that sex emotions are often very powerful and can be difficult to override.
Another challenge is that sex emotions are often triggered by external factors, such as our partner’s behavior or the environment in which we are having sex.
Understanding Your Sex Emotions: What They Really Mean
The first step to controlling your sexual emotions is to understand them. What are the different types of sex emotions that you experience?
What triggers your sex emotions? How do your sexual emotions affect your behavior?
You can learn more about your sexual emotions by keeping a journal of your sexual thoughts and feelings.
This can help you to identify the different types of sex emotions that you experience, the things that trigger them, and how they affect you.
12 Ways to Control Sex Feelings & Emotions Naturally
1. Understand What You’re Actually Feeling
Sexual feelings can be normal excitement, a strong urge to have sex, or even frustration when you can’t act on it. Sometimes it’s not even about sex itself — it’s stress, loneliness, or boredom showing up as desire. The first step is being honest with yourself about what’s really going on.
2. Notice Your Triggers
For some, porn is the biggest trigger. For others, it’s late-night scrolling, flirting, or being alone too much. Write it down — when do you feel the strongest urges? Once you see the pattern, you can start changing it.
3. Try Relaxation Instead of Acting on Urges
When sexual feelings hit hard, pause. Take a shower, go for a walk, or do deep breathing. Simple things like stretching, yoga, or listening to calming music can take your mind away from sex and cool down the body.
4. Reframe Your Thoughts
The moment you think “I can’t stop myself,” you’ve already lost control. Switch the script: tell yourself “This urge will pass” or “I don’t have to act on every thought.” It sounds small, but retraining your brain this way makes a huge difference over time.
5. Be Honest With Your Partner
Don’t hide or stay silent. If you want more sex, say it. If you’re struggling with too much desire, admit it. Real conversations about sex and needs stop resentment from building up and make intimacy healthier.
6. Set Boundaries That Work for You
Boundaries don’t mean “no sex.” They mean knowing your limits. It could be cutting down on porn if it’s taking over your life, saying no to casual sex if it leaves you empty, or choosing situations where you feel in control instead of pressured.
7. Take Care of Your Body
Good sleep, regular workouts, and balanced food aren’t just for health — they also calm down sexual overdrive. When you’re tired, eating junk, or not moving, your body craves quick highs like sex or porn. A healthy lifestyle makes urges easier to handle.
8. Channel the Energy Into Something Else
Sexual energy is powerful. If you can’t have sex right now, put that drive into exercise, studying, creating music, or even cleaning your room. It sounds silly, but redirecting energy actually reduces the intensity of urges.
9. Be Aware of Outside Influences
Movies, social media, porn, even the kind of jokes friends make — all these can stir up sexual thoughts. You can’t control the world, but you can control what you expose yourself to. Choose wisely when you know you’re already struggling.
10. Check Your Mental Health
Sometimes, strong sex urges are a cover for stress, anxiety, or depression. You might use porn or sex as an escape. If that’s the case, working on your mental health first makes sexual feelings easier to manage.
11. Talk to a Professional if Needed
If you’ve tried everything and still feel sex controls you — whether it’s porn addiction, risky behaviour, or constant urges — a therapist can help. They’ll give you tools to manage thoughts and build real balance.
12. Build Closeness Beyond Sex
Sex is important, but relationships built only on sex don’t last. Spend time talking, cuddling, laughing, and doing things together. Emotional closeness takes the pressure off sex and makes physical intimacy more natural, not forced.
The Biology of Sex Emotions
Sex emotions are influenced by a complex interplay of hormones and brain chemicals. Hormones such as testosterone and estrogen play a role in arousal and desire.
Brain chemicals such as dopamine and oxytocin play a role in pleasure and bonding.
The biology of sex emotions is still being studied, but scientists are learning more about how hormones and brain chemicals influence our sexual thoughts and feelings.
This research may eventually lead to new treatments for conditions such as sexual dysfunction and hypersexuality.
How Culture and Upbringing Shape Your Sex Emotions
Culture and upbringing also play a role in shaping our sex emotions. For example, people who grow up in cultures that are more open and accepting of sex may have more positive sex emotions than people who grow up in cultures that are more repressive and judgmental of sex.
Our upbringing can also influence our sexual emotions. For example, people who were raised in strict or religious households may have more negative sex emotions than people who were raised in more open and accepting households.
How Sex Emotions Impact Your Relationships
Sex emotions can also impact our relationships in other ways. For example, if we are feeling shame or guilt about sex, we may be less likely to communicate our needs and desires to our partner. This can lead to frustration and conflict in the relationship.
On the other hand, if we are feeling positive sex emotions, such as excitement and pleasure, we are more likely to communicate and connect with our partner. This can lead to a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship.
Sex Emotions and Mental Health
Sex emotions can also be impacted by certain mental health conditions. For example, people with anxiety disorders may experience more anxiety and worry related to sex.
People with mood disorders, such as depression and bipolar disorder, may experience changes in their sex drive and interest in sex.
If you have a mental health condition, it is important to talk to your doctor about how it may be impacting your sex emotions.
There are treatments available that can help to manage mental health conditions and improve sexual function.
How to Cope with Challenging Sex Emotions
If you struggle to cope with difficult sex emotions, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist can teach you coping skills and help you develop a deeper understanding of your sex emotions. Exploring resources like online outpatient rehab can provide a structured environment for addressing underlying factors.
Seeking Professional Help
If you are struggling to control your sex emotions on your own, it is important to seek professional help. A therapist at PsychiCare can teach you coping skills and help you to develop a deeper understanding of your sex emotions.
Therapy can be helpful for a variety of sex-related problems, including:
- Difficulty controlling sex emotions
- Low sex drive
- Erectile dysfunction
- Premature ejaculation
- Painful sex
- Lack of orgasm
- Sexual trauma
- Sexual addiction
Some FAQs
How to control your sex emotions?
To control your sex emotions, you need to understand and manage your desires and impulses. You can do this by developing self-awareness, setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, and seeking professional help when needed.
In simple words, this means getting to know yourself and what you want, setting limits for what you will and won’t do, paying attention to your thoughts and feelings, and asking for help if you need it.
How to control sex feelings after marriage?
To control your sexual emotions after marriage:
- Talk to your partner about your sexual needs and desires. Be honest and open about what you want and need.
- Try to understand your partner’s sexual needs and desires. What is important to them? What makes them feel good?
- Find new ways to keep the intimacy alive in your relationship. This doesn’t have to mean just having sex. There are many other ways to connect with your partner, such as cuddling, kissing, and talking.
- If you’re struggling to communicate or understand each other, consider seeking couples counseling. A therapist can help you to improve your communication and build a stronger relationship.
How to control sex feelings before marriage?
To control your sexual feelings before marriage:
- Focus on personal growth. Get to know yourself and what you want in a relationship.
- Set clear boundaries. Know what you are comfortable with and what you are not.
- Engage in healthy activities. Exercise, eat healthy, and get enough sleep.
- Build meaningful relationships based on emotional connections. Sex is not the only way to connect with someone.
- Understand the importance of consent. Both partners must agree to have sex before it happens.
How to control sex feelings during pregnancy?
To control your sexual feelings during pregnancy:
- Talk to your partner about your needs and concerns. Be honest and open about what you are feeling.
- Explore non-sexual forms of intimacy. There are many ways to connect with your partner without having sex, such as cuddling, kissing, and talking.
- Practice relaxation techniques. Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and meditation can help to reduce anxiety and arousal.
- Talk to your doctor for advice. They can provide guidance on what is safe and healthy during pregnancy.
How can I control my sexual feelings for a male?
- If you are feeling attracted to a male, let him know. This can be a difficult conversation, but it’s important to be honest about your feelings.
- Know who you are and what you want. This will help you to resist acting on your sexual feelings if they are not in line with your values or goals.
- If you are struggling to control your sexual feelings, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. They can help you to understand your feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
How can I control my sexual feelings as a female?
- Recognize and accept your desires. It’s okay to have sexual feelings. Don’t try to suppress them or make yourself feel bad for having them.
- Make conscious decisions about when and how to act on your desires. Consider your values and goals when making decisions about your sex life.
- Develop healthy coping mechanisms. Exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones can be helpful ways to cope with strong sexual emotions.
- Set personal boundaries. Know what you are comfortable with and what you are not. Don’t allow anyone to pressure you into doing something you don’t want to do.
- Engage in self-reflection. Think about your sexual thoughts and feelings, and what they mean to you. Are they in line with your values and goals? Are they causing you any distress?
- Seek support from trusted individuals or professionals. If you are struggling to control your sexual feelings, talk to a friend, family member, or therapist. They can offer support and guidance.
Conclusion
Controlling sex emotions can be challenging, but it is possible. By understanding your sex emotions, developing management strategies, and seeking professional help when needed, you can learn to control your sex emotions and have a more fulfilling sexual life.
