Relationship counselling

Relationship counselling is the process of counselling the parties having troublesome differences and stress upon the relationship. Once the problem is known, an effort is made to recognize, and harmonize the situation so that it can be managed better.

The relationship involved may be between members of a family or a couple, employees or employers in a workplace, or between a professional and a client.

Causes:

• Your partner is making you feel angry or disappointed.
• You and your partner disagree about basic things in life. 
• You both want two different things, but don’t want to compromise.
• You don’t feel the same emotion towards your partner as you used to earlier.

Symptoms:

Based on WebMD:

• lack of communication
• an absence of sex
• money argument
• struggles over home chores
• not making a relationship a priority
• frequent arguments
• lack of trust

What defines a good relationship?

Of course, all relationships are unique, and that’s part of the beauty of them. But there are a few characteristics that generally mean you have a strong, healthyconnection:

• Trust – Relationships are built on trust, which is essential for good communication and forming strong bonds with people. Without trust, relationships are unlikely to survive.
• Mindfulness – If you’re mindful of what you do and say, and of the other person’s needs, you’re more likely to maintain strong relationships. Issues can arise if you let your negative emotions affect others, or if you aren’t thinking of them. 
• Mutual respect – As mentioned above, strong and supportive relationships rely heavily on mutual respect. You need a mutual understanding of each other’s needs and values, and to consider these regularly.
• Good communication – Your relationships will be richer if you make an effort to keep in contact with those around you. Being honest and open with others also allows for you to connect deeply and build long-lasting bonds.

When to Seek Relationship Therapy:

Many people believe that you should only seek relationship counselling when any major problem arises. But that is often too little, too late. Relationship therapy should begin as soon as the problems get in the way of your daily life. Here are some signs that you might benefit from a consultation:

• You have trouble expressing your feelings to one another
• You have one or more unsolvable disagreement
• There is withdrawal, criticism, or contempt in your interactions
• A stressful event has shaken your daily life
• You have trouble making decisions together
• You experienced infidelity, addiction, or potential abuse
• You want a stronger relationship

How Relationship Counselling Helps:

• It can help you explore ideas and patterns of relationships
• It can help you identify desired and undesired needs
• It can help you in managing expectations
• It can work on your communication style
• It can help you in setting boundaries
• It can help you in resolving conflicts

Treatment:

• Couple’s Therapy Or Relationship Therapy

Couple’s therapy is a subset of relationship therapy. The duration of this type of counselling may differ according to the problem faced by the client in the relation. The therapist works on understanding the problem faced by the couples, by knowing their relationship history by targeting their emotions and working on the changes needed for the healthier and happier life between the couple. 

• Marriage Counselling

Marriage counselling or marital therapy involves pre-marital and post-marital counselling. Pre-marital counselling is good investment for couples who are serious about preparing for a lifelong marriage. It helps young adults develop healthy attitudes and skills, to interact with their prospective partners respectfully and in appropriate ways, so that they can develop and maintain meaningful and fulfilling relationship. 

• Post-Marital Counselling

Marriage can be the most rewarding relationship, however it also brings with it many problems and issues that need to be handled. The spouses should support each other in both bad and good times. It is always good to share the problems with your life partner to have a greater bonding and understanding. It is how well a person can take up this responsibility and carry out with maturity. The better a person balances his married life along with other problems, the happier and stronger the bonding will be.

Family issues:

Families come in all shapes and sizes, from nuclear families and extended families to biological families and families of choice. While the definition of family can mean different things to everyone, for many of us, it can be a valuable source of love, support, and security. However,family problems can manifest in the healthiest of families, resulting in challenging, frustrating, and painful interactions among family members.

Healthy families:

• Communicate, listen, and value time to talk together.
• Affirm and support one another.
• Develop trust among family members.
• Have a sense humour, sharing play and leisure time together.
• Share responsibility.
• Teach right from wrong.
• Value and practice service to others.
• Share spiritual or religious beliefs in positive and meaningful ways.
• Respect the privacy of one another’s confidences.
• Negotiate rules and compromises mutually.
• View problems as a normal part of life and develop problem-solving techniques
• Respond to change. 

Symptoms:

• Anxiety or worry: You may be frequently preoccupied with concerns about your family and struggle to focus on other things.
• Sadness or depression: Feelings of tension, conflict, or disconnection from your family might make you feel sad or hopeless.
• General stress: You may have trouble sleeping or experience physical symptoms including muscle tension, headaches, and digestive troubles.
• Conflicts with other loved ones: If a relationship with one person is upsetting you, you might find that issues also come up with other  people you’re close to. 
• Low self-esteem: Feeling insecure or threatened within a relationship that means a lot to you can make you doubt yourself and your worth.

Types:

• Parent/child conflict: Issues between parents and children can be especially emotional and deeply rooted.
• Issues with siblings: Negative feelings like competition, comparison and different relational styles can lead to conflict with siblings.
• Conflict around culture/lifestyle: Families often have set notions of the kinds of lives members should live. When one member of the family goes against these established norms, conflict can follow.
• Caregiver stress: Taking care of children, supporting a family member with a health condition, or caring for an elderly parent are all examples of situations that can cause caregiver stress.
• Communication issues: You don’t feel heard; you wonder whether the other person understands you; you struggle to say what you mean. These are all forms of communication issues, a common setback in many family relationships.
• Violence/abuse: When any family issue turns into emotional or physical violence or intimidation from one or more people, the relationships can be considered abusive. 

Treatment:

• Psychotherapy: Family therapy is designed to help families collaborate to address family problems. The course of treatment is often brief, and most family therapy models seek to address.
• Meditation or mindfulness practices. Making space for quiet reflection can help you gain perspective on your family issues and give you a way to approach them calmly, and it may also reduce the symptoms of stress and anxiety that these issues can cause.
• Journaling. Keeping a written record of your thoughts and feelings around your family challenges may help you clarify your perspective on these issues and their role in your life.
• Connect with other friends and loved ones. When a family relationship is stressful, it can be helpful to rely on the other important people in your life.